Rebuilding at 47
On releasing scarcity from the body and doing things differently
I keep getting denied employment for jobs I know that I’m qualified for. That has never happened to me before in all my years of working. From the first job I got at 19 I’ve always been able to interview and I’d get hired. It didn’t matter whether I had the experience or not, I knew I wanted the job and I’d get it. So when I started to be passed up for jobs I could do in my sleep, I had to reckon with the fact that what used to work is no longer working.
I didn’t think I’d be out here looking for a job right now. But there has been so much that has changed with my finances in a short amount of time. In 2024, I stepped away from most of my work to support a family member who was going through a serious mental health crisis. There were days I didn’t want to get out of bed. There were nights when I woke up feeling the trauma in every part of my body, that familiar void of indescribable pain. I’d find myself withdrawing from my friends and isolating myself. And on top of that, I was realizing that I was in full blown perimenopause. I was on an emotional roller coaster, gaining weight, and sometimes feeling like I didn’t know who I was anymore.
And then coming into 2025, the DEI cuts started happening. The financial coaching industry slowed and contracts I had counted on were gone. It felt like the rug had been pulled from under me. That is a familiar feeling, because I grew up in a home not knowing what could happen next. When I feel instability in my life, my body goes into an activated state and my brain begins to look for things that could be a threat, whether they are real or not.
What I also know is that I have found my way through every hard thing that has come before this. I’ve been through a nine year custody battle with my child’s father, the last abusive man in my life. I’ve also had to fight for my rights as an employee, holding employers accountable when they didn’t pay my wage, or filing a lawsuit for discrimination. Each one of those experiences showed me another way for me to approach self-care. Over the years, I’ve developed a strong baseline of spiritual practices of prayer and daily meditation. I’ve made physical outlets of exercise my lifestyle. And eating healthy meals nearly 80% of the time is how I approach my nutrition.
So what is it this time around that I am learning?
What has been carrying me through is something I didn’t expect. It is coming in the form of being grateful for my blessings, and being a blessing by giving more. This isn’t in a depleting way, or in a way that costs me more than I have, whether that is my money, my time, or my energy. It’s being available for women in my free weekly group Prosperity Xchange, and providing a space that most would say I should charge a premium for. I’ve also adjusted my coaching rates so more Black and Brown women can access support right now. Because I know what it feels like to not be seen, to be denied opportunities, and to feel like no one understands that all you want is just a chance at something that could change your life.
What I have noticed is that the more I calm my nervous system and embody the energy field of abundance, the quieter the scarcity gets, including the fear of not having enough and the anxiety about what comes next for my business. That scarcity feeling, the one my body knows so well, is getting quieter. Because I’m not focusing my energy on what is missing. I’m walking in the reality that there is more than enough, that opportunities exist, that I will be aligned and ready when the right one arrives.
This isn’t a season I expected to be in at the age of 47. I have credit card debt that is mounting. I can’t go out and get my hair done as often as I like. There are things I can’t do right now that I could do before without even thinking about it. And I am making peace with that, because grasping as if I don’t have enough isn’t the answer. The invitation I keep coming back to, for myself and for anyone reading this who is in a season of rebuilding, is to let go of the outcome and surrender. This isn’t about giving up and not taking consistent action to change your circumstance. It means to release the outcome of your life and what you desire into whatever you believe in, whether that is God, the universe, the feeling tone of love, or the energy field of creation like nature. Trust that every decision you’ve made has brought you to exactly where you are, and that every decision you make today is shaping where you’re going next.
How you approach this season of your life is an invitation for you to expand your capacity to receive more love, joy, peace, and prosperity. And from this place of expansion you will be available to more good than you ever imagined. My invitation to you is to trust that you are exactly where you’re supposed to be, especially because you’re reading this. And when you falter in self-doubt and fear, I’m here to remind you of how powerful you really are.
Holding you in love,
Leah
“ I’m not focusing my energy on what is missing. I’m walking in the reality that there is more than enough, that opportunities exist, that I will be aligned and ready when the right one arrives.” I’m holding onto this one!
There is a freedom in rebuilding at any age. We have all been conditioned to believe that by certain points in our lives we should have achieved particular goals. But, the more important lesson is to reflect upon what we have learned on the journey. What did not work is just as valuable as what did succeed to accomplish our goals.
Age is just a number, there are 20-year-olds that have lived a 47 year-old's life in terms of maturity. Sometimes this is because these individuals had to carry a large amount of responsibility at a very young age and became accustomed to creative problem solving early.
When that perspective taking comes into play we let go of the notion of set milestones and begin to tell ourselves that our path may not be linear according to other people's standards, but it can curve and bend according to where we are now in our own development.
Here's to new beginnings; starting over, picking up wherever we left off and keeping it moving toward our purpose, passion and dreams.